Cullen Girl's Night Out
by Blue Eyed Bookworm
Summary: When Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and Bella go out for a night on the town, who will they run into on a first date? Will the other Cullens be spying on them? And who's that guy in the turban? Read to find out! Rated T because I'm paranoid. UNDER CONSTRUCTION
1. Chapter 1

A.N: Here is the updated chapter! I hope you guys enjoy it. Reviews are love!

(Rosalie's POV)

"Girls, are you ready? It's time to go!" Esme called up the stairs. "Almost!" Bella, Alice, and I called in unison from Alice's ridiculously enormous bathroom counter. I fluffed out my curls, checked my sparkling white teeth for lipstick, and swiped another coat of mascara onto my eyelashes. I admired my reflection in the mirror, and smiled with satisfaction.

"Ok, I'm going to count to _ten_, and then I'm leaving with or without you! ONE! TWO! THR-". By the time Esme had made it to "-EE!" Alice had seen what I would do and was right with me. At "FOUR!" we scooped Bella up into our arms. As Esme reached "FIVE! SI-" we were down the stairs and gently putting Bella down, feet first.

"Fast enough for you?" Alice giggled. Bella glared. She seemed slightly dazed, and a tiny bit dizzy.

"Perfect, but next time, could we actually go faster instead of the alternative?" Esme said pointedly, who was dressed in a simple, sparkly, black sheath dress.

"Can we go now?" Bella asked. "We're going to miss our dinner reservation." Bella still appeared to be unhappy about the entire event.

"Alright! Come on out, you guys! We have to GO!" I called, my voice just a bit above normal. I knew they would hear me.

Emmett, Edward, Carlisle, and Jasper slunk in from the kitchen.

We all said our farewells, with a reminder to: be home by 12 p.m., not go to a strip club, and to call in case of an emergency.

We were taking Carlisle's Mercedes; Alice took the wheel, and we went from 0 to 120 in 20 seconds. We squealed with excitement as we left the town's limits

The car seemed to emit human screams as we screeched to a stop into a parking space of the Emerald Forest Mall in Downtown Port Angeles.

"Alice! Are you trying to kill me?" Bella squealed agitatedly. The three of us merely giggled in response.

We _always _drove like that! _Silly Bella , _I thought. The car doors slammed as we exited the sleek, black car. I adjusted my soft leather purse strap and giggled for no reason. The four of us headed towards the mall entry, laughing, joking, and wondering out loud if we _were_ going to make it to our dinner reservation (the meal was for Bella) since Alice was undoubtedly going to make us visit all of her favorite stores.

"We could always… _skip_ shopping…" Esme suggested gently. Bella and I looked fearfully at Alice. When it came to shopping, Alice could have an untamable wrath.

This comment made her stop in her tracks. "Skip… shopping…?" To her it must have been unthinkable.

I swear, Alice would've had a fit right in the parking garage if Esme hadn't chose to cut in.

"Well, Alice, it _is_ Bella's bachelorette party. Don't you think we should do what _she_ wants to do?" Her tone was calming. _Should have brought Jasper_, I thought.

Finally, Alice got her breathing under control. "Fine." Her voice was acidic. "But it's only because you're my sister to be."

Bella breathed a sigh of relief. "Oh, but what about dinner?"

"Right! Let's move." Alice said airily as we entered the mall.

A.N: Better or worse than the original chapter? 3, S


	2. Chapter 2

Cullen Girl's Night Out

**A/N:** I just wanted to give a big THANK YOU to all the people who took the time to read my story and reviewed it. And while we're on the subject of reviews, _**please**_ review…..unless you want me to stop writing….(and yes, I do mean that!) Oh well. On to the story!

Chapter 2. ( Rosalie's POV)

When we got inside the building, Alice dragged us to a map and then announced that we were going to the largest department store in the mall. Bella let out a groan, so I patted her shoulder comfortingly and nodded knowingly. Now that I was actually getting to know her, Bella wasn't all that bad. She froze at the touch of my skin, and I knew that it wasn't because my skin was icy. She knew that I didn't like her, and we avoided all unnecessary contact ( verbal or otherwise) with the other. I gave her a warm smile, and she shot me back a small shy one. I sighed as Alice dragged us off to J.C. Penny's.

(Edward's POV)

I gave myself a smug smile as I packed up the "Super-Awesome -Tasic Spy Stuff", as Emmett called it. A palm-sized video camera, an intermediate disguise kit, 3 notepads and several pens and pencils (to "document our research into the female mind" to quote Jasper), and a 3-way walkie-talkie set to keep in touch with Emmett and Jasper. Throwing the backpack easily over my shoulders, I bound down the stairs and to the living room. This was were the meeting was taking place; the_ surveillance_ meeting. The plan was pure genius, really. Spy on the girls while they were on their littlenight outthing. And Alice --- who would usually be the fly in the ointment --- would be none the wiser! She would be _far _too preoccupied with shopping to notice what we were up to. And even if she _did_ catch a glimpse as to what we were up to, I would be staying within range to read her mind, and then see if she saw _us_. That was probably hard to follow, but oh well! Carlisle was out on a hunting trip, which worked out just fine; he wouldn't approve of spying, especially on ladies. I sat down on the couch and turned my attention to Jasper, who had set up a diagram, a battle plan so to speak. He began to explain the plan, and I could tell from his thoughts that some of the old military instinct was coming back.

"_This feels like I'm sending soldiers to spy on Union troops_!" was going through his head. He sounded slightly amused.

" _Reminds me of the battle of…." _he thought wistfully, remembering the Civil War.

I cleared my throat, and he finished explaining the plan to us. I was going to stay within range of the girls, and keep an eye on them (see where they were going to next, watch out for a vision from Alice, ect.), while Jasper and Emmett were going to take notes and observe the girls. I distributed the walkie-talkies. We then fled to the cars, and sped toward Port Angeles.

(Esme's POV)

We made our way through the crowd towards the elevator, attracting more than a few curious looks from passersby. I sighed and smiled, waiting for the elevator. I was almost positive that the others knew that tonight was my way of "subtly" helping Bella and Rosalie become closer. The elevator dinged and opened its doors. All four of us stepped inside and pressed the button for the third floor. Alice and Rose were gossiping animatedly about several bands, including one called Muse, and another one called Linkin Park. Bella was looking at her high-heeled feet, and playing with her fingers. I gave her a warm smile and squeezed her had gently.

Whispering now, I said in her ear with mock severity, "Now, if you don't at least _act _excited, Alice is going to throw a fit! And last time, well, it was bad enough at home; imagine what it would be like in_ public_!"

Bella giggled and nodded. She joined in Alice and Rosalie's conversation, giving her opinion on Linkin Park's newest single. The elevator then came to a stop and we exited quickly. Alice was l_iterally_ dragging us into the store, screeching to a stop in front of the enormous shoe section.

_This should be_ _good!_ I thought as she attracted the attention of a sales clerk. _Someone should get this on tape._


	3. Chapter 3

Cullen Girls Night Out

**A/N: I am sooooooooooo incredibly sorry for getting this out so late, but my dad is a teacher and he had to do a TON of teacher stuff on the computer, not letting me post anything, let alone write anything. And, I had a severe case of idea-less-ness (I think its called writers block…idk). Well either way, ****thank you**** to all the reviewers, favoriters, and subscribers. Thank you all SO much! On to the chapter (Oh and another excuse: I type like my grandma)!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer The Great does.

**Chapter 2**

(Emmett's POV)

Edward, Jasper, and I parked the car two blocks away from the mall in Port Angeles, to draw any suspicion away from us. A few minutes later, we were in the third floor men's bathroom, applying some "bronzer", I think its called, on our faces to key down our paleness.

"Ewww! I don't want to put make up on!," I whined unhappily.

"Well, what if the girls _do_ go to a strip club? Wouldn't you want to see _if_ they did?" Jasper retorted. I gave a low, unhappy growl and put some more _makeup. _ Edward actually had the gall to laugh at my discomfort.

He pulled on a black wig, Jasper a brown wig, and me a blonde wig.

"Alright," I said in a serious tone of voice. "Lets_ do _this!". Then I started to hum the_ mission impossible_ theme song in my head—to annoy Edward of course. It appeared to work; he began to rub his temples. I smiled as we split up and began the mission.

(Alice's POV)

_This is sooo FUN! _ I thought, watching Esme try on a pair of absolutely _gorgeous _purple and white pumps.

"Oh, Esme, you have to get those! They are just stunning! Oh, and especially with your outfit!" Rosalie cooed.

"Well…..I guess they _do_ go good with my outfit. And these are my two favorite colors." said Esme uncertainly "I think I'll get these!". I giggled. The male sales clerk seemed to be cooking something up; to my disgust he actually _winked_ at Esme, and gave her- what I think was meant to be _seductive (_**blech**!)- smile….I immediately gave him a horrified grimace and started to take a peek "ahead".

"_Well hello!" the clerk said smoothly to Esme. " How are __**you **__doin'?". He scooted noticeably closer to her. She scooted away with an uncomfortable look on her face, and he scooted closer, until they had reached the extreme edge of the bench._

"_Ok, there are two things you should know about me: one, I'm twenty six and you're maybe eighteen, and two: I'm __**married." **__She empathized he last word._

I held back a giggle--and a groan---as the clerk began.

"Well hello!".

***oOoOoOoOoOoOo***

Several minutes later the clerk--- his name was _Fred_—who had tried to make a move on _all _of us, said he had some urgent business to attend to in the back and didn't return. By the end of "speed shopping" at JC Penny's, Esme had her pumps, a matching halter dress, black ballet flats, a brown belt, and a soft, brown leather clutch. Rose had picked up a red satin top with black lace trim, a matching denim skirt, black stilettos, a green cocktail dress with a black silky wrap, and a pair of faded jeans. My haul included a hot pink Marilyn Monroe-style dress, black flared jeans, a glittery silver scarf, a duplicate pair of Esme's heels, and some other items, but those are my favorites! Bella only bought a pair of leather cowgirl boots, a few bracelets and a necklace—much to my disapproval. Either way, we were on our way to the movie theater on the third floor. We were going to see a movie about an evil miner who supposedly died, but then came back to life and stated killing everybody on Valentine's Day, no less! Totally not my style, but we had all decide to see a horror flick beforehand. Rosalie bought our tickets while Bella and I got popcorn for her. Esme and Rosalie joined us and we walked into the theater as the lights began to dim.

"Oh, my God!" Bella whispered shrilly "Is that Jacob kissing Jessica?!"

**A/n: HaHa! Cliffie! I promise that I'll get the next chapter out sooner than this. So what do you think? Love it? Hate it? Tell me! Also, take a look at the new poll I have up on my profile! I just wanted to say that all story ideas are still being accepted via p.m. (private message). And if you send in an idea that I use, I'm going to dedicate the chapter to you! Yay! One last thing…….ALL Reviews Apreciated!**


	4. Chapter 4

Cullen Girls Night Out

**A/N: Ok, you officially have permission to loathe me. I **_**know **_**I haven't updated in **_**far **_**too long. I had a major case of procrastination, a total of ONE (1) idea submitted (thanks Kitty Brigeta!), and a killer research paper for science class—my least favorite class in existence! Either way, sorry for the cliffie, the too long time between updates, this long authors note/apology ,and global warming. ALL REVIEWS AND IDEAS ACCEPTED, CONCIDERED, AND APRECIATED! On with the chapter then!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer The Great and Awesome does.

**Chapter 3**

(Bella's POV)

"Oh, my God!", I gasped. "Is that Jacob kissing Jessica?". Sure enough, Jessica and Jacob _were_ kissing, and it was getting ugly fast! Jessica let out a soft giggle and leaned in further. Esme's, Alice's, and Rosalie's faces were all covered in the same mask of shock and disgust. The next thing I knew, Alice was fishing around in the Coke with her long fingers for an ice cube. She plucked it out of the drink and tossed it forcefully towards the…_ugh…_couple. The ice cube landed square in Jacob's eye, and, thankfully (I don't know how long my stomach would've lasted!), the two broke apart, startled.

"Do you _mind?!_" Rosalie snapped—we received at least six "shhh!"s' and about two "shut up!"s'.

"The movie is gory enough without having to watch you two suck face!", she continued. Jessica began to babble excuses, and a sudden thought popped into my head.

"Hey! Jess, aren't you going out with _Mike? _Oh, and Jacob, how are things with _Leah_?" I asked smugly.

"Who is _Leah?!", _Jessica cried.

"Well, who's _Mike?!_", Jacob retorted.

Alice pulled me over and whispered, "The theater security guard is coming in thirty seven seconds, so…"--she directed this at Jessica and Jacob—"maybe you two lovebirds should take this outside!". They stalked out of the theater, bickering quietly. The movie had just started.

"Ummm, guys, can we…go? I honestly don't think my stomach or my nerves could take the rest of this." I whispered as quietly as possible. And the security guard…"

"Bella's right, lets go!", Rosalie muttered. We dashed out of the theater as quickly as we could.

(Edward's POV)

I could see the girls entering the theaters (I then started recording with the video camera); the movie name that I had picked out of their heads seemed to be quite violent and bloody. I found myself wondering how long Bella would hold up…

I was brought out of my reverie by the walkie-talkie clipped to my belt squawking like a strangled bird.

"Mind Freak, calling Mind Freak, this is Smooth Jazz. What is your position?". I unclipped it, pushed the button, and spoke in to the microphone.

"Excuse me _Smooth Jazz,_ but 'Mind Freak'?". I could figure out that Jasper was Smooth Jazz, but how could_ I _be dubbed Mind Freak?

"Well, you can read _minds_, and since you're our brother, we automatically get permission to call you a _freak!_ Clever, huh?" Emmett's voice came through the speaker.

"Oh, hilarious, Emmett. Well then! Lets call _you_….Cranky Grizzly!", I replied laughing. I was joined in by a chuckle from Jasper, and a snarl from Emmett. I was suddenly alerted by the distinct sound of high heels clicking in unison.

"It's the girls! Got to go!" I said, ducking into a bookstore/café and hoping that they wouldn't catch my scent. Lucky for me, they swerved the right and into Chili's. The zoom was very helpful in that moment. I sat down at a table, grabbed a copy of Great Expectations, an prepared to wait.

**A/N: So? What do you think? Oh, and sorry for the JacobxLeah thing. I just couldn't think of anyone else for him to go out with! BTW, here are some things to add to your To-Do List!**

**1) Review Twilighter1's story (Cullen Girl's Night Out)**

**2) Visit Twilighter1's profile; while there, vote in her poll**

**3) Submit an idea via p.m-ing to the Cullen Girl's Night Out Story**

**I promise to work on getting the chapters out sooner!**

**Love and hugs from the U.S.,**

**Jane, AKA Twilighter1**


	5. Chapter 5

Cullen Girls Night Out

**A/N: Hey People! What's up? I want to dedicate this chapter to Kitty Brigeta for her really funny idea! Thanks to all of the subscribers, review-ers, and favorite-ers. Every single review gives me the warm fuzzies (wait…did I seriously just say that?)! The reason the chapter is late is because I had a movie night with the girls last night, and I had to clean. Also, I have officially caught Spring Break outdoorsy-ness fever. Oh, and don't forget warm-weather-procrastination. Anyway, ON WITH THE CHAPTER!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight, Stephenie Meyer The Great and Awesome does. Even so, I still own several copies of the book!

**Chapter 5**

(Jasper's POV)

I pretended to be engrossed in the volume range of the speakers I was looking at, while I hid out in Radio Shack. About 150 yards away, I could hear the babble of Bella's, Esme's, Rosalie's, and Alice's conversation, coming in from Chili's. Alice was practically squealing while talking about her new "gorgeous" heels and "totally hot" jeans. I chuckled at my wife's retail obsession.

(Bella's POV)

Contrary to my first expectation—even though I would _never _admit it—I _might _have been having the _tiniest _amount of a good time. The girls and I had gone to Chili's, and I had just finished up eating the Chicken Ranch sandwich I ordered. Esme checked her shiny silver watch.

"Oh, girls, we had better go! Unless you want to have to just go home without going_ dancing…_" She playfully threatened. Before I realized it, we were standing up, outside the restaurant, and walking towards the elevator.

"Umm…guys, we're in _public! _And while we are in public what happened to _no vamp speed_?!" I asked nervously.

"Oh _relax,_ Bella! Nobody saw us!" Rosalie brushed my comment off nonchalantly. "I swear, you're so high strung! I wish Jasper was here to calm you down!" On the first floor, near the pet shop, was a small crowd was gathering near a booth. Flashes of green and brown were dominant in the scene before us.

"What's that?" I asked Esme

"I don't know, sweetheart. From what I can hear, it's an animal show of some sorts." She replied thoughtfully. "How about we take a look?" We all agreed, and made our way down to the escalator.

What I saw before me was truly bizarre. The flashes of green and brown I had seen earlier were, in fact, about four snakes and six reptiles. There was a man wearing a ridiculously large turban, sitting with crossed legs and playing a flute. In front of him was a reed basket with the four snakes inside, and they were slithering in time to the music. But that still wasn't the strangest part. The man had several lizards—about five or six—perched on his shoulders and turban. As I looked around me, Esme, Rosalie, Alice, and (almost certainly) I were gawking openly and the array of reptiles in front of us. The man had just finished playing his flute.

"Ladies, and gentleman, I now need a volunteer from the audience!" he called in a voice with a heavy accent. Several people in the audience raised their hands while the man's eyes settled on Rosalie.

"How about you ma'am?"

"_Me?"_ she squeaked in surprise.

"Well, yes you ma'am!" He walked forward—turban, lizards, and all—and took Rosalie by the hand and pulled her forward (thank goodness she was wearing her favorite zebra-print gloves), Rose muttering complaints all the way. He had her stand still while he pulled a red velvet cloth from behind his back. _What __**is **__this, a fricken magic show? _I thought. I suddenly noticed a nametag on his cream-colored shirt that said "Mr. Das".

"And for my first trick, I shall place several lizards around this young lady's shoulders, arms, and head. Then, I will make her—but not the iguanas, mind you—_disappear!" _Mr. Dasexplained to the crowd. _Ok, so this __**is **__a fricken magic show, _I thought to myself once more_. _There were loud gasps of excitement and anticipation throughout the audience. Esme sighed and looked at her watch once more; she then asked Alice how long Rosalie's performance would take.

"Seven minutes, and thirty-three seconds, give or take a few" was her precise reply. Mr. Das was putting the lizards on Rosalie's shoulders, arms, and perfect gold curls—much to her obvious discomfort. She was squirming and groaning as he put the last lizard right on her left shoulder.

(Emmett's POV)

There was a crowd gathering outside the pet store—where I was hiding—for some sort of magic show. Either way, I wasn't paying much attention because of the puppy pug I was holding. **(Pugs are so cute!!!!!)** Alice had said once that pugs looked a little bit like frogs, and now that I was looking at one close up and personal, I kind of saw it. _Hmm…What are the odds of Carlisle letting me adopt this little guy_? I wondered to myself. _Few._ My subconscious answered for me._ And even then, Rosalie probably wouldn't like_ _having a dog around the house_. I put the little puppy back into his crate all the while wondering what his upkeep level would be. The blonde wig was really starting to annoy me. Speaking of blondes, there was a blonde lady up in the crowd, and she looked very familiar. I walked out and into the crowd, managing not to be seen.

Then, her scent hit me. _Oh, my God it's Rose! _Unclipping the walkie-talkieI spoke to quickly for human ears to hear.

"Cranky Grizzly, this is Cranky Grizzly requesting backup!"

"Smooth Jazz to Grizzly, what is your dilemma?" Jasper's voice squawked over the microphone.

"We have a near sighting, I repeat we have a near sighting! Requesting backup immediately!" I replied.

" Mind Freak,"—I couldn't help but laugh at the code name I had given him—", to Cranky Grizzly, what is your position?" I easily recognized Edward's voice, even through the static.

"By the Pet store, there's a huge crowd you can't miss it! But be careful, the girls are participating in some kind of animal magic show."

"We're on our way." Jasper promised. I tried to mingle in with the crowd as I waited for help to come.

**A/N: So what do you think? Oh, and Kitty Brigetta, I'm going to have the reptile show continue on to the next chapter so the funny part is still to come everyone! Ok, I have several items to address. First off, I need to ask you: Should the guys get caught? Tell me in a review. Second, I have a total of zero ideas, now (submitted and mine alike!)**

**Third, I have taken off an option in my poll, and added another one I had an Idea for while watching the venom scene on the Twilight DVD. ******** Well, that's all for now, guys!**

**Love and hugs from the U.S.,**

**Jane, AKA Twilighter1**


	6. Chapter 6

Cullen Girls Night Out

**A/N: Helloooo! Since I was in **_**such **_**a good mood (and I had nothing better to do…), I decided to post this chapter almost on time! Yay! This chapter is dedicated to . Thank you!!! You rock! OH! That reminds me: I got a beta! Her penname is readinangel, and all her stories are on my favorites list! So, what are you waiting for? Go check out her profile/stories! Oh, but read the chapter first, though. This chapter was written listening to some of the song off of the Mama Mia! Movie soundtrack, Twilight: The Score, and the Twilight soundtrack. Everybody who has reviewed, favorited, and subscribed, thank you! Here is the chapter, my lovely readers!**

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight -- Stephenie Meyer The Great and Awesome does. Even so, I still own several copies of the book!

**Chapter 6**

(Rosalie's POV)

_Ewwww! I seriously HATE reptiles! _ I thought. _That swami dude is soooooo going to pay for this._

"…then I will make her—but not the lizards mind you—_disappear!"_ the man said to the crowd mysteriously; he was obviously trying to hype up the crowd, and it appeared to be working. _He's gonna do __**what**__?! I did not agree to this! _This was outrageous. _What would happen when he made me disappear? Where would I go? What if he couldn't make me reappear?_ I was brought out if my panicked thoughts by the man—I noticed a nametag that said Mr. Das—removing the iguanas, I think they were, off of his head and onto my arms, shoulders, and head. _AHHHHH! Slimy, scaly, filthy, disgusting….uh…retiles!_ Mr. Das then took out the velvet cloth he had been holding during his explanation, bringing it on front of me with an overly dramatic flourish.

"Ok, and on the count of three…one…"— I gulped —"two…"—I got a lump in my throat —"three!" I screamed.

(Emmett's POV)

_Oh, my God! What did that dude just do to MY WIFE?! _I thought franticly as gasps rippled throughout the audience. I _had_ to get over there! _But what about getting caught? _My stupid subconscious yelled at me. I decided to anxiously wait and see—with great difficulty—what this nut job was going to do next. From where I was in the crowd, all I could see was a very large pile of reptiles—iguanas' maybe? —where Rosalie was a few moments ago. Now the man was waving a red velvet cloth over the lizards, and counting down from three. And, to my amazement, a tall blonde silhouette appeared in a small puff of smoke. Once again, a loud round of applause ran throughout the crowd. As for myself, I was ecstatic, cheering happily and jumping up and down energetically (let me tell you, I got a few curious stares from the rest of the audience!). Just then a thought popped into my head: _Where was the backup I had requested??_ Just then, I felt my arms being grabbed from behind me, and I was being pulled.

"Who are you, and what do you want?" I asked, panicking somewhat.

" Relax dude, it's us!" Jasper's voice said almost humorously. I felt a wave of tranquility wash over me.

"Thanks…Smooth Jazz!" I couldn't help but taunt him a little bit!

Ok, now that we're out of the danger zone, what next?" Edward asked Jasper.

"Now, we should go to a relatively quiet area and discuss what we have discovered so far.

"Huh?" I asked, thoroughly confused.

" We go to quiet place and talk!" Edward said slowly as if talking to a toddler.

"Oh, shut up, Mind Freak!" I growled.

We all gave a quiet chuckle and headed towards the men's restrooms.

**A/N: Sorry for the shortness of the chapter! Ok, here's the deal: at school we're doing end of the year tests, and I'm gonna have to study big time if I want to pass. So, I won't be able to update for a little bit. :( I know, I know, you are all probably**_** heartbroken, **_**but don't get too torn up about it. Also, I still have only one vote in the poll. Third, if any of you think that Dakota Fanning was a bad choice for Jane, let me know, because I think so, too (*thoughtfully* I think **_**I**_** could have made a good Jane…light-ish brown hair, 5'1, kick-butt glare…yeah!)! Again, all ides are accepted and considered! Thank you all! P.S: As of this chapter, only 923 more words till I qualify for a beta reader! YAY!**

**Love and hugs from the U.S.,**

**Jane, AKA Twilighter1**


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